Monday, February 12, 2007


So it’s Valentine’s week, and instead of looking at Civil War tie-ins like I said I would, I’ve decided to dedicate this week to lovers, specifically, those of the fictional variety.

And for all you Gambit and Rogue enthusiasts, it's probably best to turn back now, cause they didn't make the list.

But here's who did…

10 - Thor & Jane Foster

We all love Thor, and the lovely and talented Jane Foster was no different.

This god-spawned romance is pretty much nonexistent in the modern day Marvel U, but in the 60s and 70s, the Don Blake/Thor/Jane Foster love-triangle practically kept the book alive.

Okay, sure… it was Lee and Kirby trying to add some romantic angst to Thor, a la Superman/Lois/Clark, but as the saga of Thor and Jane progressed, things took quite a different turn.

See, eventually, Don Blake gets tired of messing around and reveals that he’s really Thor. He then asks Jane to return to Asgard with him and become an immortal goddess, and of course, she says yes.

But Odin is not pleased, and doesn’t believe his son is truly in love with such a “simple woman.” So he wipes Jane’s memory, sends her back to Earth, and leaves the Odinson with a broken heart, and a hard lesson learned.

Jane went on to marry Keith Kinkaid and have a child with him. She later became a brilliant doctor in her own right, and can be seen currently helping the Underground Avengers in the pages of Civil War.

9 - Captain America & Agent 13

Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, doesn't play games - it's rumored he even dropped out of school when he found out about recess. Just sayin'...

A man like Cap, needs a special woman... ladies and gentlemen, meet S.H.I.E.L.D. field specialist Sharon Carter, Agent 13.

Sharon's older sister, Peggy, was Cap's girlfriend during WWII, and a large part of her childhood was spent listening to Peg's stories about Cap's exploits and adventures. Sharon was so inpired by her sister's tales that she grew up and became an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Fast forward a few years later, Sharon, now operating under the codename Agent 13, runs into the recently revived Cap, who helps her take down Batroc, ze Leaper. They team-up a few more times, and eventually, Cap puts the pieces together, and confesses his feelings for her, despite there being some weirdness with her being Peg's little sister.

Because one's a superhero and the other's a super agent, their relationship will always be an on-again/off again thing, and it's probably safe to say they'll never share an apartment. But don't I love to see 'em get together and kick Hydra ass... and maybe sleep with each other afterwards.

8 - Nick Fury & Contessa Valantina Allegra de Fontaine

Yowch! This’s a hot one.

I can think of maybe two other guys in comicdom who carry as much machismo as Nicholas J... but neither of them have slept with the Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, so Nick wins, hands down.

This little romance set the censors in the Marvel offices ablaze on more than one occasion, with the panels above being the most famous of instances.

Originally, Jim Steranko had drawn the the phone off the hook and in the last panel, it was Nick and the Contessa kneeling down, embracing each other. But when the page came across "Jazzy" John Romita's desk for approval, his jaw dropped and he immediately redraw the scene to Code standards, putting the phone back on the receiver and replacing the lovers' embrace, with Nick's pistol, fit snuggly in it's holster... and having just typed that, I'll let you decide which version of that last panel is the more suggestive of the two.

7 - Cyclops & Phoenix


Gimme just a minute with this one, wouldja?


Okay, there... I'm good.

I mentioned to my wife something about my list here, and she asked if I was going to put Wolverine and Jean on it, and right then, it occured to me that these days, post X-Men, the movie and both sequals, a lot of people think Jean is Wolverine' s love interest, and she just happens to be married to Cyclops, too.

Now me, I'm pretty much a traditionalist when it comes to these guys, and while I don't mind the whole Cyclops and Emma thing, I truly miss Scott and Jean.

I'm sure by the time I post this, Newsarama will have broken a story on Jean's return or something, but let's ignore that, and admit that these two's last moments together during the Dark Phoenix saga is probably one of the best scenes in comics, and move on...

6 - Hank Pym & Janet Van Dyne

Man, these two were SO not meant to be together...but that's never stopped 'em from trying, and you've got to admire that.

It's funny to think about it now, but once upon a time, Hank and Jan were the premier lovebirds of the Marvel U - heck, there was even a fan club devoted to them with jackets and everything.

But let's face it, Hank's crazy, and Jan's, well... Jan.

I mean, he's the kind of guy that takes his dead collegues daughter, whom he's attracted to because she reminds him of his deceased ex, and eventually transforms her into a six inch tall pixie with insect wings.

And she's the kind of gal who'll hit on every man within a foot's distance while her husband's right beside her, and then drinks too many poolside margaritas and ends up reminding her best girlfriend about her "fake" children, thus making her go crazy and ultimately eradicate 3/4 of the mutant population.

"Daddy - no more mutants?" Please...

"Janet - no more margaritas!" is more like it.

And that gets us to couple number 5...

5 - Vision & Scarlet Witch

Thomas and Engelhart - what were you boys thinking?

This couple is quite possibly the most tragic on the list.

He's a synthezoid and she's a mutant, so right there we're starting off weird.

These two eventually get married and have children that end up being lost pieces of the demon Mephisto's soul, who later finds and reclaims the pieces, thus ending the existance of both kids.

Meanwhile, Vision is dismantled by the government and quickly reassembled by Hank Pym, who, sadly, is unable to restore his original personality, leaving the Vision cold and analytical; a mere-shell of his former self.

Needless to say, the combination of these things is enough to send the Scarlet Witch off the deep end, and down the path that eventually led to Avengers Disassembled.

4 - Daredevil & Elektra

Forget Beniffer and Bendis for minute, and think back to the good ol' days when a mysterious woman from his past is hired to assassinate Matt Murdock's best pal and business partner, Franklin "Foggy" Nelson.

When Bullseye and Elektra traded blows across the rooftops of Hell's Kitchen - a battle that ended in a passionate and bloody embrace.

When Matt Murdock, the blind man who can see better than any of us, the son of a nun in a devil suit, the lawyer who takes the law in his own hands, stepped out into the night, broken and angry, and single-handidly took down the criminal empire of New York's notorious Kingpin of Crime.

That's love.

3 - The Thing & Alicia Masters

Okay, really... Ben and Alicia almost made number one.

Alicia Masters, the blind sculptress, is in love with Ben Grimm, the rock-like Thing of the Fantastic Four. Despite Alicia's inability to see, she, of all people, sees Benjy better than anybody else because of the WAY she sees him through touch, empathy, adoration, etc...

This is almost too good for words, so I'm gonna tell you to go read Fantastic Four 1 - 102, and move on to # 2...

2 - Peter Parker & Gwen Stacey


'Nuff said.

1 - Mr. Fantastic & the Invisible Woman

Shocker, right?

What can I say about these two that hasn't been said better somewhere else.

Oh, sure they're not together so much right now, but we all know, that in a few months when Rise of the Silver Surfer hits theatres, the Fantastic two will be snuggled up together in their cozy little wing of the Baxter Building, reading poetry, laughing at Namor's underpants, and calling each other "DAH-LING" way too much...

It's a real testement to the legacy of Lee and Kirby that in an industry hellbent on keeping characters from being happily married, no one really wants Reed and Sue to ever be apart.

Honorable Mentions:

Dr. Strange & Clea

The Human Torch & Crystal

Bruce Banner & Betty Ross-Banner

Logan & Mariko

Howard & Beverly Switzler

So who'd I leave out?


Winterteeth said...

Hell, this thing deleted my first comment. I was talking all smart like about Sif/Beta Ray Bill and Sasquatch/Aurora but now it is all gone. Anyone want to take up the banner?

TCB said...

Sif and Bill are great. I thought about putting them on here, but their relationship was kind of all over the place, and I felt like it never really got to where Simonson wanted it to.

Sasquath and Aurora on the other hand...

The Mutt said...

Daredevil & Black Widow

Philip Looney said...

Awesome Andy and Mallory Book was good, though a newer and not as long lasting interest.

Moon Knight and Frenchie?

How about Luke Cage and Colleen Wing/Danny Rand and Misty Knight?

Philip Looney said...

OH! Silver Surfer and Shalla-Bal

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